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America’s Jewiest News Quiz
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America’s Jewiest News Quiz

It’s Purim again, so time for our annual News Quiz — because, let’s face it, you can’t top reality when it comes to satire. 

1. In December, a Pennsylvania man filed a formal complaint with the school district after his son’s teacher wore what to class?

a/ a swastika armband
b/ a Palestinian kaffiyeh
c/ a star of David necklace

2. Last August, Google banned three violent games from its Play Store, disappointing the apps’ Israeli developers. What is the name of one of the actual games?

a/ “Whack the Hamas”
b/ “Hungry, Hungry Hezbollah”

3. Which of these things actually happened? 

a/ Retailer Zara apologized for selling a striped shirt with a six-pointed yellow star on the chest.
b/ A Swiss dairy included images of Nazi and fascist leaders on packages of coffee creamer.
c/ Urban Outfitters offered a tapestry “eerily reminiscent” of the clothing worn by gay prisoners in concentration camps.
d/ All of the above

4. Last year, Rambam Medical Center saw a spike in demand for what? 

a/ reverse circumcisions
b/ sperm from donors who have served in Israeli combat units 
c/ sperm from donors studying in prestigious yeshivas

5. A town in Spain agreed to change its unusual name after years of complaints. What is the name in English translation?

a/ “Hitler Town”
b/ “Auschwitz Gardens”
c/ “Kill Jews”

6. A Minnesota rabbi argued all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court that he was cut from an airline’s frequent flyer program for what?

a/ loudly complaining about the quality of the kosher meals
b/ handing out “need a mohel?” business cards to pregnant passengers
c/ earning too many frequent flyer miles 

7. An Israeli tech startup created a device that can help you do something in a mere 30 seconds. Do what? 

a/ fully charge a drained smartphone 
b/ get off the phone with your mother in Florida
c/ conduct the entire Passover seder

8. In May, a Florida man didn’t make it home for the Passover seder. How come?

a/ He drank four cups of wine in the taxi and forgot his address.
b/ He was too busy earning $1 million in a casino poker tournament. 
c/ He was detained at the airport for carrying a “suspicious liquid” that turned out to be a jar of gefilte fish.

9. Which of these is NOT an actual list compiled by a legitimate news publication in 2014:

a/ America’s Sexiest Rabbis
b/ America’s Most Inspiring Rabbis 
c/ America’s Top Mohels
d/ America’s Best-Dressed Cantors

10. In 2014, El Al Israel Airlines offered what innovation to its customers?

a/ a circus clown to entertain children during flights 
b/ personal “seat mehitzas” for fervently Orthodox passengers
c/ virtual reality goggles showing relaxing scenes from Lufthansa flights

11. In June, the Rolling Stones rescheduled their first concert in Israel to start 45 minutes later than originally planned. Why?

a/ so Mick could daven Ma’ariv
b/ to trick Israeli concert-goers who are never on time for anything
c/ to accommodate those celebrating the holiday of Shavuot, which ended at sundown

12. In June, Katz’s Deli on the Lower East Side sued Katz’s Delicatessen in Deerfield Beach, Fla., for alleged trademark infringement. Who else has Katz’s sued in the past?

a/ the Katz Community Center in West Orange
b/ the Orlando, Fla., law firm of Katz and Phillips
c/ a New York City food truck called Katz & Dogz

13. What is the Yiddish name of a NASA spacecraft currently orbiting Mars?

a/ The Mars Atmosphere and Volatile EvolutioN, or MAVEN
b/ The Mars to Earth Navigational Space Hovercraft, or MENSH
c/ The Galactic EVolution ALtitudinal Transporter, or GEVALT

 

 

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